Forgiveness: Letting Go of the Past to Embrace a Brighter Future

An Article 📝 by: Michael Romano CARC

7-30-24

Alright, Sober Fam, let's talk about something real, raw, and often freaking difficult: 'forgiveness'. Forgiveness is something we talk about often, this word gets thrown around a lot, but what does it really mean? Why is it so important, especially in recovery? And how do we actually 'practice' forgiveness when it feels impossible?

Let's break it down like we're talking at a recovery meeting, no sugarcoating, just straight-up truth bombs.

Forgiveness 101: What It Is & Why It Matters

Forgiveness isn't about saying, "Everything's cool, dude. No big deal you stole my car and pawned my grandma's jewelry for drug money." Nope. Forgiveness is about letting go of the anger, resentment, and hurt that someone else's actions caused you. It's about making a conscious decision to stop holding onto that negativity.

Here's the thing: holding onto a grudge is like carrying a heavy backpack filled with bricks. It weighs you down, makes it hard to move forward, and frankly, it sucks. Forgiveness is about setting down that backpack and choosing to walk lighter.

Why is this so important in recovery? Because guess what? Most of us in recovery have done some things we're not exactly proud of. We've hurt people, made bad choices, and caused a whole lot of drama. And let me tell you, dwelling on that guilt and shame is a recipe for relapse.

Think about it: when you're feeling all crappy about yourself, when that voice in your head is whispering about what a loser you are, what do you want to do? Maybe numb it all out with a drink or a drug, right? Forgiveness is like a shield against that negativity. It allows you to accept what happened, learn from your mistakes, and move forward with a clean slate.

But Mikey, you might be saying, how do I forgive someone who totally screwed me over? That jerk doesn't deserve it!

Trust me, I get it. When I first got sober, I was a walking ball of resentment. The people I hurt, the bridges I burned – it all weighed on me like a ton of bricks. But here's the thing: holding onto that resentment wasn't hurting them, it was hurting me.

That's when I learned the power of forgiveness. It wasn't about saying my actions were okay, it was about letting go of the anger and pain. It was about choosing peace over bitterness.

Forgiveness is a Journey, Not a Destination

Here's the deal: forgiveness isn't always a light switch you can just flip "on." It's a journey, a process that takes time and effort. There will be bumps along the road, moments when the anger flares up again. That's okay! Just keep reminding yourself why you're doing this – for your own peace of mind, well-being, & life!

Here are some tips and tricks to help you on your forgiveness journey:

• Focus on the present: Ruminating on the past only keeps you stuck. Focus on what you can control today.

• Practice gratitude: Taking time to appreciate the good things in your life can shift your perspective and make it easier to let go of negativity.

• Write it out: Sometimes, journaling can help you process your emotions and gain clarity. Write a letter to the person you need to forgive, even if you never send it.

• Seek support: Talk to your therapist, sponsor, coach or a trusted friend about what you're going through. Having someone to listen and offer support can make a big difference.

Remember, forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself, not to the other person. It's about choosing to let go of the negativity and embrace a brighter future.

My Story: From Resentment to Forgiveness

Let me tell you a little bit about my own journey with forgiveness. When I first got sober, I was filled with guilt and shame about the things I had done. I had hurt a lot of people, and I felt like I didn't deserve forgiveness. But I knew that holding onto that resentment was only going to keep me stuck.

So, I started by focusing on myself. I got involved in a recovery program, started therapy, and surrounded myself with positive people. I learned to be honest with myself and others, and slowly but surely, I began to forgive myself.

It wasn't easy. There were times when I wanted to bury my head in the sand and pretend it all never happened. But the more I tried to ignore it, the worse I felt.

That's when I realized forgiveness wasn't about letting people off the hook, it was about setting myself free. It was about choosing to stop letting the past control my present and future.

Forgiving Others: Letting Go of Resentment:

Forgiving yourself is one thing, but forgiving others can be a whole different ballgame. It's easy to hold onto grudges, to blame others for our pain. But let's be real, holding onto that anger only hurts us in the long run.

Forgiving someone doesn't mean forgetting what they did, or condoning their behavior. It means choosing to let go of the resentment and bitterness that's holding you back. It's about refusing to let their actions define your happiness.

Remember that person who hurt you? They're probably dealing with their own stuff, their own pain. Forgiving them doesn't mean you have to be friends or have a relationship with them. It means releasing the grip they have on your emotions.

Tips for Forgiving Others

● Practice empathy: Try to see things from their perspective. This doesn't mean excusing their behavior, but it can help you understand why they acted the way they did.

● Practice gratitude: starting a 'gratitude journal' is a great way to come to a place of acceptance for ourselves & Others. If we can accept, we can forgive.

● Focus on yourself: You can't control someone else's actions, but you can control your own response. Focus on healing and moving forward.

● Set boundaries: Forgiving someone doesn't mean you have to let them back into your life. It's okay to set boundaries to protect yourself.

The Power of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a powerful tool for healing and growth. It allows you to let go of the past and embrace the future. It frees you from the burden of resentment and bitterness, and it allows you to build stronger, healthier relationships.

Remember, forgiveness is a journey, not a destination. It's okay to take your time, to feel your feelings, and to ask for help along the way.

You deserve to live a life free from the weight of the past. Forgiveness is the key to unlocking your full potential and finding true happiness.

If you're struggling with forgiveness, know that you're not alone. There are people who care about you and want to help. Reach out to a therapist, a sponsor, coach, or a trusted friend. And remember, you're stronger than you think.

So, let's commit to making forgiveness a priority in our lives. Let's let go of the past and embrace a brighter future filled with peace, joy, and fulfillment.

If you're ready to start your forgiveness journey, I invite you to book a free one-on-one coaching session with me. We can work together to develop a personalized plan to help you heal and move forward.

And don't forget to check out Episode 15 of the SoberSuccess Podcast: "Embracing Change: The Key To Recovery & Growth" for more tips and inspiration.

Remember, you're not alone on this journey. We're all in this together.

Let's make forgiveness a part of OUR RECOVERY STORY‼️💛

With ❤️love and 🤝support,

Mikey

🔗Link to free coaching session:⬇️

https://pensight.com/x/mikeybuns25/meeting-e636ce2b-0ea1-4fd6-98a5-f191a05a0642